Get An Ex Back Blog

If you want to keep your Spouse or Lover from straying, watch this video for amazing Marriage restoration tips and strategies you can use to save your Marriage! For more video tutorials on how to save your Marriage, visit http://www.RetrieveALover.com

Duration : 0:7:56

Read the rest of this entry »

Technorati Tags: and, back, breakups, divorce, ex, get, marriage, my, relationship, save, stop, your

I cheated on my hubby (once) before we got married 5 yrs ago, and yes i confess what I did before we said ''I Do'',then he recently cheated on me and got busted. I have filed for a divorce, but we believe that our marriage can be saved, but are at a lost where to began repairing the damage, when we have our families in our ears telling us that we're stupid to save it, because someone who cheats will always cheat??

It is great that both of you want to save the marriage! With both of you working, you should be able to save it.

1) IGNORE THE FAMILIES! They don't know all the intimate details and don't need to. Just smile and say that's an interesting idea and go on.

2) GET COUNSELING! From a real marriage counselor. They may be expensive, but some insurance companies will cover part of the cost. It is worth it to save your marriage.

3) DON'T LISTEN TO OTHER OPINIONS! Its true that "Once a cheater - always a cheater" applies to most cases. But it will not apply to your marriage if you are both working to make it better.

GOOD LUCK, I WISH YOU THE BEST!!
It is so wonderful to hear that both people care about the marriage!

I want to know how to save a marriage when things start going wrong. The guide I found at http://www.helpsavemarriagenow.blogspot.com is good but I have not had a chance to read it yet. Has anyone in here come back from a broken marriage to make it whole again? Thanks

Actually the best time to save a marriage is before it needs saving. Too many put all this work into creating an incredible friendship prior to marriage and then allow what they've built to crumble without the appropriate upkeep.

However, there's great news. As long as their is still a twinkle in the eye, a fondly recalled memory and a desire to make things better, you will have great success in doing so. How do I know?

Besides nearly losing my marriage many years ago, I have since studied and become one of the most well respected marriage therapists in the Midwest. And, yes, today I live in an extraordinary marriage.

First, it takes work. I viewed two other answers both calling for better "communication." Here's a vital factor to get yourself comfortable with. The research is clear, upon interviewing couples with extraordinary marriages, that only 31% of conflict is resolvable. So, be careful The goal around communication should first be to clarify if the issue is resolvable or not. Unresolvable issues include our personality, our core values and our world view.

The other mistake in recovering a lost marriage is to get into the really hard issues right off the bat. Bad move. Why? Because if you started a relationship/friendship bank account when you first started dating you put an awful lot of deposits in. When a marriage is in trouble they've usually lost their friendship and their relationship bank account has a zero balance.

The first, most important thing to do is begin rebuilding your friendship. Commit to date nights at least every other week. Buy a fun couples book of quesitons. One of my favorites is called "Intellectual Foreplay." You're likely full of recent negative memories. Intentionally make your mind reminisce about the good times. Focus on what's beautiful about your spouse. THESE are the secrets to putting marriage back together in a lasting way. And can I tell you a little secret? Many couples I work with end up having better relationsihps than ever after they work the steps I've outlined above.

Best wishes in re-claiming an extraordinary marriage!!

Dave Turo-Shields